Hi! It’s my turn to do the summary for the day, so here we go. “Sharpening”, the selection we had to read was from the same book we read about Engfish from, Telling Writing by Ken Marcrorie.
A lot of what Marcrorie discusses in this section expands on what he started mentioning in Engfish. Remember how Marcrorie talked about how we tried to make overly wordy sentences that didn’t really mean anything? Marcrorie discusses in this section ways to “sharpen” our sentences, or to make them sound better, and this process really will make our sentences sound less “Engfishy”.
One of the main points Marcrorie makes is using active verbs instead of passive verbs. Instead of using a lot of linking verbs like ‘is’, we should try to use action verbs that suit what we’re saying instead.
Example:
-- Reading this section is assisting us in becoming better writers. (Passive verb phrase is assisting.)
Versus
-- Reading this section improves our writing style.
Clearly, the second one sounds a lot more convincing. It also cuts down on the number of unnecessary words, which was one of the main aspects of Engfish.
The other main point that Macrorie brings up is all the use of unnecessary words and the overuse of the pronoun ‘it’. Rather than beating around the bush by saying things like ‘It seems that reading this will help me’, Macrorie argues that we should just get to the point and say ‘Reading this will help me’. By avoiding all the extra words, we sound a little more authoritative, don’t you think? We also sound a lot more convincing, or at least that’s how it seems to me, and I can’t really think of any situation where we wouldn’t want to sound convincing in our writing.
Obviously, passive verbs and ‘it’ can’t always be avoided, but we should always try to avoid them in situations where we could be using better and more colorful words!
For discussion:
What did you think about the article? Have you had any experience with writing that needs a little sharpening, or maybe have you seen instances in which you’ve used a lot of “its”, “seems”, and passive verbs yourself? (I know I’m guilty of it!) What do you think is the best way to try to avoid this? (Since these aren’t really errors, I know it’s a lot harder for me to catch myself doing it. I mean, I just used the word ‘it’ and ‘is’ in that sentence!) If you have any other thoughts, too, you can just put them here.
Thanks!
--Laura Treat
21 comments:
Hey...just wanted to apologize for the single-spacing and lack of indenting in the second half. It looked way too spacey in the actual "post-blog" box and it looked normal when I previewed it...well, it's a little too late to fix it now. :) Just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry about that. :)
After I read the article, I realized that I use "is" and "it" quite a lot in my writings. I started to read a paper I was working on and saw so many unneccesary words. I went back and started changing them. Once a topic such as this comes to my attention, I become more aware of my writing style. I don't know how I would help someone change this. I would probably just tell the writer to re-read their writing and check on their word usage.
I agree with you. I notice i do the same things in my own writing,. My problem is this, when i am writing i think i do use the extra words to help fill in space on the paper.
I often find myself writing passivly instead of actively. Sometimes I am afraid to assert my opinion too forcefully, and instead I end up sounding like a doormat :)
I know that I have been guilty of using passive verbs in the past. However, the teachers that have graded assignments that use such verbs have only said to "take out 'it'" or something along those lines. I never understood why. It wasn't until later, when I became aware that "it" doesn't DO anything, that I realized what my mistake had been.
Also, in everyday speech I do not think that there is a problem with using SOME passive verbs, because this allows for normal conversation (including one's disagreement with one's statement without completely denying their argument).
Everybody has been guilty at some point of using too many words in their writing. My high school English teacher use to make us write using concised writing. We would take long sentences and try to make them shorter. We would do this about one or two days a week. I noticed later on though that doing those exercises made me a better writer.
I think this article was very effective to start the semester with because of its critical eye towards general writing. I have always been taught ideas such as using more meaningful verbs, and even had one high school teacher that counted our use of certain words and would sometimes mark off points because of them. However, he would always circle them with that infamous teacher's red marker so that we could edit our paper for next time.
This article hit home with me more than the Engfish one. I often use the passive voice when writing because I believed that it sounds more removed and intelligent. However, after reading the examples, I see that the active voice is more effective. After realizing this, my papers will be shorter but much sharper. However, using "it" and "is" as emphasizers and as a way of slowing readers down is particularly interesting. I like that the author gave us warnings against certain words first so that we would pay closer attention then gave us good ways of using them to make our writing better once is has been sharpened.
I appreciated the examples given by the author of the article. They were clear, concise and helpful in proving the case of unnecessary words such as "it" and "is". I am guilty of all of these mistakes. I usually use Engfish to lengthen my papers. but now I realize that the importance should not be placed on length, but rather the strength of the content you are trying convey to your reader.
In the past I've written papers and in order to make them longer I've gone back and added more to sentences that sounded just fine, but when I added more they no longer made sense. I also noticed that when I would read a friend's paper I would tell them that they are using too many passive words. It looks like filler, and I think it annoys teachers more than anything.
I think everyone over uses the pronoun "it". It is just something that we do. It is a hard habit to break. See, i just used "it" in the past two sentences. I try not to be super wordy with my sentences. But sometimes when i'm writing a paper for a class, the teacher seems to want us to put more 'detail' into our work, so then it seems like a simple sentences turns into a huge one. The best way to avoid using too many "its" is by going through your finished work and circling them and see if you could define what that "it" is.
The article was very interesting and it made me realize that a paper does not have to be wordy, you can get straight to the point by expressing yourself truthfully. I hate using big words when I write a paper because sometimes I don't even know what they mean! I honestly think all of my papers could use a little sharpening, because I am guilty of using the words "is" a lot. Sometimes I don't know how to get away from using it, but this article gave me examples that I am going to apply to my writing. The best way to avoid the usage of unnecessary words is to edit your papers. I think we have gotten away from doing this because it's a tedious task and Word checks errors for us.
I can especially appreciate this ariticle right now with a paper due in the next couple of days. It makes you appreciate simplicity. If you can get your thought across using fewer words, why not go for it. People will appreciate what you're saying or writng so much more. Originally, i did not think that i was too wordy, but i definitly have used some extra words here and there; an unnecessary to, is, or of. Even though, it's still early in the semester, i have already begun to change my writing style.
I found the article rather interesting. I notice my overuse of "it" and "is" quite frequently. I hate when writing gets too repetative and boring, so I try to avoid it at all costs. However, avoiding it proves to be quite difficult. I think one of the best ways to catch this sort of "mistake" is to reread your writing over and over and over.
I use "is" and "it" a lot...and I didn't even realize it until I started reading the article. I think that one of the most important things in "sharpening" our writing is to learn to think without using a lot of those filler words. I especially get really wordy when I try to get a really good point across. I need to work on getting out exactly what I want to say without a lot of words like "is" and "it".
After reading the article it made me think of what goes though my mind while I am writing a paper. I have to honestly say that I do sometimes add unneeded words in order to finish papers that may have a required page number. Some people may be able to use concise language in order to show the teacher that they know the required points of the subject, but I'm sure there are many others who use the extra language to mask the fact that they do not have enough points in their original outline to cover the required amount of pages. After a while, I'm sure it is very easy for the instructors to see this type of extra fluff language opposed to well written papers that have relevant facts throughout the text.
I don't typically use unnecessary words unless the assignment is too long and I don't have a lot to say. Even if I do use "filler" words I never use "it". After reading the article I think I will pay more attention to the content of my paper instead of how many pages I still have to type.
After I read the article and the blog posted by Laura Treat, I have realized I am just as guilty as everyone else when I say I add in unnecessary words and passive verbs to my writing. I add in words such as "it" and "seems" to try to make my work sound more sophisticated, but now as I look back, it really doesn't.
I have a paper due in my other English class in 2 days and I am defiantly going to apply what I have learned from this article. Using less passive verbs will make my work sound more authoritative and make me look like I know what I am talking about.
The best way I would try to avoid this is simply by rereading my work once I am through, because while I am writing it is hard to pin point all the mistakes right away. Reading over your work enables you to sharpen your word usage and change any passive verbs you might have used.
When I read this section I realized like everybody else that I used these bad techniques in my writing. However, it is hard to notice at first, and it takes a lot of time to try and replace or sharpen poorly written sentences. The "is" topic is something I think I am probably bad at, I know I use it a lot, so I think I will try and pay more attention to it in my writing. The thing is though, that many people do not see this as poor writing, I have had many "A" papers that I went back and saw my poor use of vocabulary and poor structure. It will take awhile for people to realize this but I think eventually we all will.
I was already aware that I use a lot of "is," "it," and the like in my writing. I have tried to cut that down in my writing, but then I end of feeling like my sentences are too short and not 'smart' enough sounding. This article helped me realized that by limiting the amount of times I use those words, my writing would actually seem clearer and more articulate. It'll be hard to stop (I'm still doing it!) but I am going to make a better effort to make my writing sharper. To help students with their own writing, I believe teachers should make it clear that you do not have to have long sentences to have their writing seem intelligent.
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